qondio.com/zZDU

When A Child Asks

By Laraine Rose

When a child asks, ‘Why does it rain?’ it doesn’t want a complicated, detailed answer. Some reply such as, "The clouds get heavy with water and the water falls," may satisfy. A child’s attention span is short; it quickly moves on to other fields. So just as you give the child milk until it progresses to solid foods, give it simple information until it can understand more detailed knowledge.

Learning should be progressive. As a father or mother today would teach a child to read by first reading to their child. When he/her is an infant, take him in your lap, with your arm around him and read in a pleasant voice. He will have a warm feeling of security and joy, and the reading will be a pleasant experience, regardless of how little he comprehends. Later, you may teach him the alphabet, as a game perhaps. Then make words, and eventually form the words into sentences. And make the process of learning a joy, as far as possible.

When our daughter, "L", was a two-year-old, for example, I read aloud with her, pointing out each word for her to follow as we went along. At certain words I would pause, and then she would supply the word, such as “baby,” “dog,” “man,” “tree.” Gradually the words she was able to read increased, and at 3 1/2 years of age she was reading most of the words.

Along with reading comes writing, first individual letters, and then complete words. To write their own name thrills a child!

"L" writes her name for the first time

"L", loved to read books and she had a good supply of her own. Because the library was very close to where we lived, we visited and borrowed books very often, in fact it became a semi-weekly event both of us enjoyed. Soon "L" asked if she could have a library card of her own. I told her that she could get one as soon as she could sign her name. I didn't think too much of her request after that, not knowing how much it meant to her. Well, she must have REALLY wanted her own library card.

(Notice the photo of "L" included here.)

I taught our daughter at a very early age, respect for books. If there was a mark on the book or pages torn she would say, "Some naughty boy must have read this book." I don't know what made her think that it was a boy that did it, but that, apparently, is what she thought.

Each child is different, with a unique personality, and should be helped to develop in harmony with its individual inherited potential and gifts. If you train each child to develop its inherited strengths and abilities, it will not need to feel envy at the accomplishments of other children. Each child should be loved and appreciated for itself. While helping it to overcome or control wrong inclinations, you should not try to force the child into a predetermined mold. Rather, guide it to the best use of its own good personality traits.

A parent can foster a spirit of selfish competition by implying either the superiority or the inferiority of one child as compared with another. Whereas little children early in life show signs of inborn selfishness, they are initially free from ideas of rank, superiority, and feelings of self-importance. That is why Jesus could use a little child as an example to correct the spirit of ambition and concern for personal importance his disciples showed on a certain occasion. (Matthew 18:1-4) So, avoid
comparing one child unfavorably with another. The child may take this as a rejection. First it will feel hurt, and if this treatment continues, it will likely turn hostile.

On the other hand, the child presented as superior may become haughty and incur the dislike of others. As a parent, your love and acceptance should never be dependent upon how one child compares with another. Variety is delightful. An orchestra has many different kinds of instruments to add variety and richness, yet all are in harmony. Different personalities add flavor and interest to the family circle.

Contributor's Note

Luci was very quiet this evening. No requests for the usual glass of water, another story or kiss. We peeked in to her room and this is what we found. She had been practicing her name on the blackboard when sleep finally claimed her. You can see the brush in her hand. I wonder how many times she used it.

Next day we went to the library to get for her, her very own library card. I was a proud mamma and she was a happy girl.

What a great pity that the value of each child's unique personality will not be appreciated when he/she goes to a formal school.

My granddaughter, Dayna, found her first year at school very boring since she had gone to learn more but the school had to contend with too many children who did not know how to learn so those who already had learnt were side-lined.

The egaliterian prattling of PC has done and is doing irreparable harm to many children whose parents simply do not have the time, ability or inclination to encourage their children. Dayna was lucky that her mother found an excellent local school for her and I hope you can do the same for Luci.

I know, that is a huge problem in the public schools. I too had learned all that was being taught to students in grades 1 and 2 before being enrolled in school and found school very boring. I came home from school disgusted and hurt because I was never asked to read during our reading lessons and seldom asked to answer any questions. Mum and dad didn't catch on.

When our daughter was admitted to grade 1, her dad and I had a LONG and frank talk with the teacher. They wanted to put her in grade 3 right then but Luci had friends in grade 1 and she wanted to be with them. We couldn't convince her that she would make friends with the older children. She did manage okay. The teachers always gave her extra assignments to fill her time and she was allowed to read books while the others caught up. (So much better than the time I had, just sitting and waiting for the bell to ring.)

I agree with you, all children are not equal in ability and the large classes in public schools do not help any of the children develop as they could. I'm happy Dayna's mother was able to find a suitable school for Dayna.

I love your orchestra analogy. It's perfect. Children (and adults) are all different and its a wise parent who celebrates the difference.

Yes, it would be a boring world if everyone was the same.

Precious photo and heart warming intel!
***** stars! I am passionate about children's literature.
Our oldest daughter loved to read as a child, went on to Stanford, got a master's degree in English, taught school and now has 2 boys of her own... reading books will take you anywhere you want to go!

Thank you for your comments. I have travelled many places "between covers." This was my mum's old expression .. I think she meant books. ;)

Though most parents know instinctively what’s good for their children and what’s right when it comes down to guiding them, often they unintentionally do the opposite. Often an overwhelmed mom, irritated when her child behaves badly, tend to compare it with other kids. In a moment like this it is easier to say: “Why can’t you behave like ……Look how quite he/she is!”
You are absolutely right Laraine that we must avoid comparing one child unfavorably with another.

You are right Elana, we really have to try to be patient and watch what we say. There are also 2 words I have tried very hard not to use. They are "always" (You always ...) and "never" (You never ...). I believe this can be very hurtful for a child, as it is even to me, if one says that. I know that, being imperfect, we make many mistakes and errors when bringing up our children but hopefully we can learn from our mistakes and from the mistakes others have made.

What a great picture, Laraine. I'm so glad you captured it. Another few minutes and it might have been lost.

I'm just happy that Will took the picture. I'm not very good with a camera .. I think that I've taken a grand total of 3 good pictures in my lifetime!

Charming photo. Yes, remember that bit about simplicity when she starts asking about the birds and the bees. Too many parents think they have to give the long version and then they embarrass themselves, lol.

I got a head start on reading by learning phonetics from alphabet blocks starting before age 3. The schools were telling parents at that time not to confuse us, but my mum taught me anyway. Yayyy!

I was taught phonetics as well and passed this on to my daughter. The poor children who didn't get that can't read and can't spell. Try getting a job as an editor or any job in the literary field, for that matter, it would be very difficult.

Thank you for your comment.

we have not pushed our son to read or write or anything, I figure when he is interested and ready that will be the time. Amazing what your daughter was able to do at such a young age. wonderful photo and I love that velveteen rabbit book in the pic, I have my copy from childhood and have enjoyed reading it to my son, wonderful story, makes me tear up each time I read it.

The Velveteen Rabbit was one of Luci's favorite books and she has kept it also. In fact, she has kept all of her books .. they are special to her.

The copyright for this content entitled "When A Child Asks" has been specified by the contributor as:

This content may not be copied, distributed or adapted by anyone under any circumstances.